What is it about summer that changes us?
Do you remember that famous song in Grease about summer love? There’s a reason it resonated. Summer romances
have been part of our culture for generations. We sing about them, make movies about them, and
tell stories about them. Somehow, they never go out of style. Maybe it’s because summer has its
own rhythm. The days stretch longer. We spend more time outside. There are concerts, vacations, beach
weekends, backyard barbecues, and nights that last longer.
Sometimes it happens on a cruise or during a weekend at the beach, on a European vacation, at a concert, or
while waiting in line for coffee. You’ve packed your sexy summer outfits, swimsuits, flip-flops, and sunscreen—and,
if you’re like me, your favorite vibrator and a few sex toys. The details change. The feeling doesn’t. There’s flirting. Butterflies.
Anticipation. Maybe a first kiss. Maybe even incredible sex. Suddenly, someone you’ve known for three days is
on your mind from the moment you wake up until you fall asleep. So what’s happening? Is it the person? Or is
there something about summer that changes us? We’re not moving through our days in quite the same way.
We stop overthinking. We laugh more easily. We stay up too late because we don’t want the night to end.
It feels powerful. Your heart starts racing. You look forward to seeing them again. You notice their smile,
their voice, the way they look at you. Your body responds before you’ve had time to analyze any of it.
Attraction doesn’t wait until you’ve completed a compatibility checklist. Does that mean you’ve met the love
of your life? The truth is, it’s too early to know. I’ve seen people realize they fell in love with a moment
more than a person. I’ve also seen people meet on vacation and spend the rest of their lives together.
Summer has a way of making us feel more alive. And sometimes, the person who feels new again is the one you
came If you’re traveling with your partner, notice what changes between the two of you. You linger over dinner.
You reach for each other’s hand without thinking about it. You make love because you want to, not because you
finally found thirty free minutes before falling asleep. Some couples even tuck a favorite travel toy into the
suitcase, letting intimacy become part of the adventure too.
As a therapist, I often encourage my couples to hold onto a little of that vacation feeling all year long.
One of my favorite assignments is surprisingly simple. Each week, one partner plans a surprise date.
They alternate turns, so each person is responsible for planning two dates per month. The only things they
tell the other person are when to be ready, where they’re going, and what type of clothing to wear. That’s it.
Sometimes it’s dinner. Sometimes it’s live music, miniature golf, a picnic, a museum, a walk on the beach or ice cream.
It doesn’t have to cost much. In fact, I often share websites with free and inexpensive date ideas because it’s
never been about the money. It’s about making each other a priority again. It’s about anticipation. It’s about
creating memories together. If you’re single, I encourage something similar. Make plans with friends or family at
least once a week. Take a class you’ve been thinking about. Join a local group. One resource I frequently recommend
is Meetup. It’s an international community where people with similar interests get together locally—and even while traveling.
Whether you enjoy hiking, photography, pickleball, wine tasting, board games, live music, or simply meeting new people,
it’s a wonderful way to build connections with people who already your interests. So, can we blame it on summer?
Not entirely, summer doesn’t create a different version of us. It simply gives us the chance to reconnect with parts
of ourselves that have been buried beneath deadlines, responsibilities, routines, and the never-ending to-do list.
The challenge isn’t finding those parts of ourselves on vacation. It’s bringing them home.
Because the laughter....The connection....The spontaneity....The romance....The intimacy...
None of those have to end when summer does.
Warmly,
Risa Katz
Founder | Licensed Clinical Social Worker
pleasuretreasurz.com
📧 askRisa@pleasuretreasurz.com
